xblackheartedx

if only i had the drive to update this thing more often.
I've found myself taking pictures or video with my phone from things.
with great intentions of posting some sweet videos and what not. maybe pictures.

i always have this feeling like i don't "document" my life enough. i dont know why, and i dont know if that sounds weird, but i always think to myself, in 20 years, even 5 years. shit 2 years, i want to be able to look back, and remember shit, good, or even bad i guess. i just want to have some sort of visualization of my life.

its unfortunate that i m too lazy to do that shit.

i have all this drive to do shit, but i can't seem to do it.
i always tell myself i m good at things, but then i later find myself discouraged, convincing myself i m not.

i've been in a very weird somber mood lately.
mix emotions about life in general.

its weird how something as small as not having a car can throw you into such a weird place.

i guess its cuz it traps me at home, gives me all this spare time where i basically sit and reflect.

i dunno. i m just rambling on, i just felt like writing something...since the internets has bored me.

don't get me wrong.
its not that i think i have life so bad.
it just feels like lifes moving to slow for my own taste.


honestly, i dont even know what i m trying to get at.
i just felt like writing...

another year down the drain. 23 came and went, now its on too 24.
getting older sucks. if only i was richard alpert.

sorry i dont have too much to say.
hopefully this year brings many great things.


happy birthday to me.




p.s:tonights lost was excellent, and it was great because i saw them film like 75% of it. it was fun to "relive" that, and kinda finally see everything put together.

today was a pretty good day.

a few highlights of today.







spotted the dharma van and jeep, the guard was nice enough to let me get in it and take pictures.
shitty picture, i know. there was a big glare, point is. i sat in the dharma van.







Climbing on crazy vines on a pretty wicked hike.




The Light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.
seriously though, that shit was fuckin epic.



The Counter. Daniel Dae Kim (Jin From Lost) has a "build your own burger" joint.
it was pretty intense. and delicious.





thats it for now. sorry for the lack of updates.
we've been stalking lost, and jeremy davies (faraday)
and trying to cram as much in as i can before leaving.

*EDIT - because bill complained, i put a cut on it. to prevent any future bitching in the case that anyone DIDN'T look at it. as i said, i didn't feel like it was really a SPOILER, thats why i didnt cut it, because i put into context that i can usually tell whats going on in the show, and i really had no idea what was REALLY going on all the times i was there (For the most part).

if i spoiled anything for you, i apologize.

if you are weary of looking, i ll say to me, it didnt spoil anything, and i am typically VERY cautious of spoilers. i like to let the show unfold before me, and figure it out on my own. even everything i ve seen so far, hasn't REALLY put a damper on me knowing where the story goes.


once again, i apologize if you saw it and it upset you.
i didn't / still don't feel like its was a big thing.

(  MINOR Spoiler i guess... )
seriously though....evangaline motherfuckin lilly.

check out my sweet new ride.

yesterday was an interesting day to say the very least.
so we had gotten a scoop on where they were filming lost the night before.
on a street not to far from us. just a few mintues. so we went and checked it out that night.
they had signs posted on the street saying tow away the next day until 10. so we thought for sure they would be shooting all day. we headed out there at like 11 and wanted to see what we could catch.

they were just setting up as we got there. they were blocking out a room and shit, and setting up reflectors, shades, and some big ass lights. after doing so, i swore i saw the guy who plays desmond, and i thought i saw abbadon, because of his bald black head. but at this point we didnt know our boundaries, and were far away.
we learned we could go MUCH closer. and later DID. i over heard them talking abou thte scene and what not. but we couldnt really see the actors. i could see jack bender and some equipment.

we pretty much staked that shit out for a long ass time, and watched that whole location shoot.
i save you for what was going on or who it was or anything , because it's not important.
and even though nothing the whole day gave away what the HELL was going on in the show. i ll save it.

later after they wrapped jack bender bounced immidiatly. and we were sad because i overheard them talking about another location, but we wanted to know where. who knew if we would ever find it.
we decided to sit in the parking lot and wait for the prod. trailer to leave, and we followed it.
it was just liek 2 streets down. we drove by, checked it out. looked like they were shooting inside a shop.

best part is. as we drove by, we saw a mexican food join. we were stoked cuz we were hungry.
so we decided to run home, let the dog out, change clothes and shit, and then come back and get some food, and watch them film the show. so we did so.

we got to the mexican food place. watched some other guy leave. and walk up and were like man. this food looks cheap, and good. so i walked up to the dude at the window. and was like, hey what comes in your burrito. and he politely answered, "everything..." i was like "ok.....can i get one..." and he like looks at me. and hes like ok. and turns around and says that to the cook. then turns back to me confused looking, and goes, oh i don't think the cook is cooking right now.... i was like...huh? hes like do you like lost? cuz this is going to be on the set....

i was like wait what? hes like they re gonna shoot right here. and i asked if it was just background or what , and hes like oh i dont know. so we tried to ask this dude like oh do you really work here? and hes like oh no, i m just an extra. apparently he thought they were shooting the scene and we were a aprt of it, because he was just as confused as we were. but he was super cool. we just shot the shit with him for a while.

and apparently the crew standing there didn't give a shit we were there.
becca said that they were joking they should set up a camera. cuz apparnetly we were NOT the first people to do that. we asked the dude if it was a real taco shop and shit and he really didnt give us a clear answer, but DID say "this place would be perfect for you guys" (because we are from SD). so w/e no food.
...kinda felt stupid, but really, had no idea what was going on. we were just kinda stoked cuz they didnt give a shit we were there.

we walked across the street, and stood there for a second. the guy who plays miles was just standing right next o us. probably checking out becca haha. and then he walked away. then jack bender like walks up like hes going to talk to us, then walks away. then i THINK the 2nd AD walks up and goes. "we have to clear this corner." we were like "oh ok, we just werent sure where we were ALLOWED to be, quite honestly we thought we were going to get some mexican food." she thought that was humorous.

anyways, we watched them film most of the night.
they eyeballed the SHIT out of me, apparently they had asked people not to take pictures.
i missed that part. Even though the guy earlier in the day asked me not to, but i could watch.
but that was in the day shoot, that night a BUNCH of people had cameras.

but we watched all night. until wrap.
then they COMPLETELY dismantled the set, which was "la vida tacos".
it was NOT a mexican food place. and we got SUPER DUPED.
it was so sad to watch that, and be like oh man. we REALLY thought it was real.

it was QUITE embarassing definently a great story / memory.
who the fuck else orders food from a fake set on lost?

well now i can say i have.....haha

( Set Photos.... )

today becca and i went back to manoa falls.
i was determined to get better photos of the orchid.
a little more brave, and knowing more than before, i was on my way.
i headed down, and this time actually went INSIDE.
where as before i was on the set, but more on the outside of the tarp.

needless to say. just walking around inside was exhilarating.
i got some decent photos. but i had to boost the iso all the way up.
and open the lens all the way up. and i only had my 20-50 to get some wides.

there was VERY little light in there. so keep in mind, the shittyness of the photos.
is because i had to just boost the exposure and brightness up in PS. but here they are.

i was desperately looking for something to take, because there was a bunch of random shit.
but i couldn't find anything that i WANTED. everything seemed pretty big. or not really cool.

i don't think this will be my last trip there.




( The Orchid! )

What have i dont in the past few days.

well. me and becca decided to go to manoa falls trail. (one of the nicest hikes here.)
we spotted 2 cars there with dharma stickers on the back. and 1 was a van. with some gear in it.
some construction type shit, so i m assuming they were set design people.

we hiked the trail. it started raining AS SOON as we started, but theres a heavy canopy of trees, so you don't get wet unless your out in the open. but it was wonderful weather actually.
also, it was getting dark again on our way back down. but we made it down faster cuz it was 2 of us instead of 11. so it wasn't taking forever. we speed walked down it.

being there is so amazing. it just feels so nice. its quite. fuckin beautiful. and just peaceful.
getting to the top of the trail and seeing the waterfall is just crazy. looking up at it.
it makes you feel small. i jsut stood and looked up it for a few minutes, just in awe.\

we drove by the storage again tryin to avoid traffic, no filming htis time. and the plane was back in its place.
then we drove home. and called it a night. hung out and so on.

then the next day we went out and kinda just did w/e.

i actually found a lot where they store ALOT of the props for lost. but more the vehicle type things.
there happened to be a business lot on a 2nd story next to it, so we drove up and just looked around.
you could see cop cars, taxi cabs, a LA Ambulence, The Dharma Vans, Jacks Bronco, Hurleys Red Car.
kinda interesting just to see those things. also, we drove by where the funeral parlor was that locke was.
"hoffs/drawler." also pretty insignificant, but just interesting to see.

the best that day, was a trail i had kinda just HEARD about, read that a trail EXISTED. but no idea where it was.
no idea what was back there. or if it was cool at all.

we stopped by this cemetery. Which mind you these things are wicked, its just amazing how many there are, and its amazing to see the graves, and amount of stuff and flowers are there.

but there was this parking lot in a memorial park. and theres seriously just this like tall grassy area.
which as the "trail head", no marking letting you know. but we happened to see some kids go down there right when we got there. so i was kinda confirmed that was actually it.

we walked down it. interesting thing is. there was actually hyroglyphics down there, from ancient hawaii.
pretty cool to just see that there. and awsome that it still is there. unfortunetly theres also a fair amount of tagging, which we saw some shit head kids doing.

but you go down the trail, and its this awsome creek. like straight up jungle. crazy looking shit.
and you come upon this huge ass cliff. and water pond type thing. and was pretty amazing.
there was a ton of local kids there jumping off. and just hanging out. as well as some random people.
it was definently one of those things, like oh wow. glad i found this.

then we went back to manoa falls. and hiked the trail in a significant more amount of light. sine we happen to go pretty late. we got to walk around the treetop diner up there. the guy was super nice.

we couldn't scope any of the lost shit though, which i wanted to do.
(this is the place where the orchid is / the cages from season 3. and the hydra.)

afterwards. i was determined to try and get a closer look at the orchid station.
there was a little bum type path that led through some bamboo. that i kinda climbed through.
i knew i could get down there, but was kinda scared the crew might be there.
i went far down. and finally just decided to go for it. i got to a path, and just alked down.

there were like 6000000 mosquitos. and i probably have west nile virus now. but it was worth it.
the shit down there from the abandon "zoo" thing, was excellent. then i actually got up next to the set.
which is covered in like a tarp i guess or something. on the top. so it like has a roof over it.
i saw the side of it, but was confused so i decided to actually just walk up onto it. and i looked inside.
i thought it was actually like the BACK of it, shit i didnt care about. but it was actually the stuff you see on the show. and it was the actual orchid set. stood up in there. and poked inside of it. tried to take a bunch of photos with my iphone. i thought they were turning out, but afterwards, they were all blurry as shit.
it makes sense though, cuz it was dark as fuck, and i was fighting off an army of mosquitos.

in hindsight i wonder, why the FUCK i didnt use my P&S. cuz i took it with me, it was in my back pocket.
but i think i was more concerned with not getting caught. and just being fast. and not getting eatin.

but none the less. it was fuckin awsome too see. and i was glad i went down there.

i ll post some pictures. of some shiz.

and. not to be forgoten.
happy birthday jerry. hope all that house shit is goin good.
(i know technically its not the 25th anymore, but still.)

(  A Handful of Memories. )

i've been meaning to do an update. but quite honestly.
we get home. eat. and relax a little. and i m fuckin tired.
and i fall asleep before pulling pictures off or anything.

so its been a few days since my last update. i ll try and give a quick update on what we did.

we ahave driven around ALMOST the entire island. (except the far west coast).

we finally found the survivor camp beach.
it happens to be prettty well hidden. but all beaches are public so we found it finally.
it was exciting to see all the little houses. and eco's church.

also. on that becah theres a little hill, and on the way back there was this hot ass asian girl and some dude fucking. it was excellent. they tried to hide it, but it was totally obvious.

its so amazing just driving, aimlessly. we stop every once and a while. see an amazing view.
find some new exciting spots to go to. or drive by a i recognize from lost.

we happened to drive by and find out where they were storing 815. and as i had heard. filmed as well.


We've at at zippy's many times. which is excellent. zippy's i fuckin love you.

FINALLY we got cable and internets for real. no more stealing internets.

stopped by the wakikki swap meet. always excellent shit there. i m gonna find a wicked hawaiian shirt.

the best part was when becca and i decided to try and get to the pier they filmed at with the others. when they let michael go. because we could NEVER find out how to get to it. so we decided to try and walk along the beach to it. since thats allowed. it was all muddy, but there were rocks and shit. i stayed on the rocks. but coming up to the rocks there was a big patch of mud, that becca decided to step in, which got her stuck, shin deep in mud, losing her shoe. it was epic. until i heard some crazy dogs, from the shanty town house we passed. i was pretty sure we were fucked. at that point, we didnt know what the hell we were going to do. and it was getting dark. i was pretty certain we were going to get killed by dogs.

i skated a little at a skatepark. its nice to have a good board and trucks. although skating a 7.75 feels much thicker than a 7.25. suprisingly it makes a big difference.

last night was the best though. we were driving around. then before home trying ot kill some time to miss traffic on the H1. so i decided to go out to a trail, and come back down on the H3 which wouldn't have traffic. so we decided to drive by the storage where 815 was. well...as we were driving around i saw these big ass lights i didnt remember. and i was like. uh. those are like flood lights. as we pulled closer. there were definently flood lights in the jungle. and then there were liek a billion trailers, a bunch of grip trucks, and other trucks, food truck, like 50 cars at least. and the nose of the plane was not in the same place.

we seriously just sat on the side of the road trying to see what we could see, but we couldn't see much at all. i just wanted SOME sort of like confirmation that it was them. i mean i m sure it was. but still it would have been better to see someone or something. but just seeing that was sick. it made my night.

skate 2 is excellent.

thats all i remember for now. i ll update more later.

and now for the pics.


( There's Alot. )

ok. quick update.

the airport was fairly easy-going. i had alot of shit with me.
Macbook, Mac-mini, 3 External Hard Drives, Airport Extreme, Xbox 360, and other various wires, electronics.
i thought for sure i was going to be treated like a native Al-Qaeda. but no. they were very nice.


flew on the plane. next to this dude who was like open mouth snoring. REALLY bad.
it was funny and annoying at the same time. when he fell asleep with the drink in his hand. hillarious.

got to the island. looked beautiful.
stepped off to the TV, showing the plane that crashed into the hudson. a little be disturbing.
but thankfully i was not in the middle of the pacific.

got to the Apt. its a nice little place. reminds me a little bit of the david/tony/aaron apt. 2nd story and all.

ate at bobs big boy.

got some stuff out of storage, cushions pillows, blankets, stuff to sleep on.
we had some gnarly rain and shit the past two days. but today is nice and sunny.
we moved EVERYTHING from her tetris packed storage, with the help of some extremely nice people.
you can see the difference in "culture" i guess here. MOST are friendly as hell.

We drove down to wakkiki one night. i scoped out a skatepark we went to before.
we drove to sharks cove last night in the pooring rain. just to look at the waves for 10 mintues then leave.
still worth it. the drive alone is worth it. nothing takes any more then like 40 mintues from where we are at.
we're at a pretty central location of the isalnd.

i ll throw up some pictures...

check it.

( pic post bitch. )

I Bet someone can guess what's in this box...

i m going to make an attempt at making a "new years post".



now, most of this year, i ve been saying to myslef.
wow. what a fucking WASTE of a year.

i ve said more than once, i think i COMPLETELY fucking wasted a year of my life.
i don't feel as if i accomplished anything, or was satisfied with ANYTHING i did this year.

in hindsight, i can't say thats completely true.
now don't get me wrong i ll get to my tiffs with this year.


but i want to take a second and look at the highlights of my year.

- for the first time made my way to SF, and went to macworld. a new experience, and a good one at that.

- Did the whole 48 hours thing. vegas. great experience, great end product.

- The Oregon Trip with my mom grandma and jerry. stayed for longer than expected.
although it may have been boring as fuck at times, i can't say i regret it.

- Did a little more photography than normal, and got "in-touch" with that a little.

- Comic con was nothing short of great, as usual. it always makes my year, and i can't ever imagine NOT going.
seeing fanboys was worth it, playing tetris on that gameboy. seeing mathew fox. all the usual great stuff.

- Started Skating ALOT more, i can say i almost got back to where i was as a kid. and that felt good.
learning mini-ramp, was a HUGE accomplishment for me this year. in less than i month, i was ripping that thing up. as apposed to being afraid to drop in the first time.

- the iphone. god i had been waiting so long. and just getting it was excellent. so usefull.

-the CRAC house. definently a positive for the year. becoming the common hang out. hopefully we are not wearing our welcome, which probably do at times, but either way, has been the relief to alot of stress this past year.

-ping.pong.room.

-friends. stephanie. and so on.

-not to forget all the little things, like disneyland. drivearounds. all the good movies. leaked movies. etc.


but one of the BIG things was starting my own "at home" business, on ebay. none the less, it turned into something i didn't expect.pretty much a full fledged job, bringing me more money than i think i've ever had. allowing me to live comfortably. bought a heat press later in the year, undeniably one of the "best" investments i made all year, and for a long time as well, it easily double my profits. but this whole thing is something i feel proud of myself for. its something i DO feel accomplished about.





but the year did not come without its downs.
and i ll be honest, i feel like i had a whole lot of downs.

really, for some reason it was just stressfull as fuck. i always found myself stressed out about SOMETHING.

there were definently long times of finding myself wondering about shit, and just thinking about my life.
about life in general. feeling lost. and confused. wondering where the FUCK i am headed.

there was always this longing feeling of "getting away" which is why i took the opportunities to travel.



at the beginning of this year. i had alot of "goals" i wanted to accomplish. and really.
i dont know that i did any of them, quite honestly, i think i started out the year in a slum. of being lazy.
and just not feeling up to anything, and i dont know that besides "work" that changed.

which led to the end of the year. me discussing with david, how i feel like i wasted this year.
accomplishing nothing. and i will look back and think, wow, what the FUCK did i do with this year?
i turned 23 this year. and i think that was a big part. i m getting older. and i felt like...dude really?
is this where i saw myself at this point? where the fuck did i go wrong? where SHOULD i be?

hands down my biggest regret of the year.
not going to hawaii for my birthday, and hesitating to buy that ticket, resulting in a doubling of price.300$ round trip is fuckin unbelievable at this point. and you better believe this trip this time around, is going to be amazing. i have so many plans, but nothing set in stone, no TRUE plan of action, i m just going to go, and just BE, and explore, the island, and myself, on so many different levels.

new years resolutions?
i don't think i m that type of person anymore.
i feel like they are silly. i don't even feel like i live my life like that.
setting these "standards" or "goals" on an arbitrary date based on a gregorian calender.
i don't think the NEW YEAR, (or any date at that) should be the reason to push ourselves.

but. needless to say.
on a some what "hypocritical" level to my previous statement.

on that note.
2009 is here.
and i have made a note for myself.
i think this will be a year of change.
a year of progression. accomplishment.

i m ready to do things. go places.
i don't feel like i have time to waste anymore.
and it took a year of wasted time to see that.
but i know thats not what i want anymore.
you only get one life, and this year. (and so on.) i plan on really living it.
and hopefully with others along the way.



2009.i've got big plans for you.

in the words of one jack sheppard. "we have to go back..."

and i am.


i officially bought my ticket to oahu.
January 15th - February 25th.

Stephanie is probably coming out sometime around the 14th of Feb.
and probably leaving around or at the same time as me.

If anyone else wants to, for any amount of time, they should come.
Its fuckin amazing. and is worth it.


Many pictures will be taken.
Probably video will be taken.

and most of all, endless adventures will be had.

wall-e in 1080p ftw.

sometimes its just too much.

i was looking at digg. and there was a post reviewing the new macbooks.

and someone commented.

"Boycott Apple!

Apple showed their true colors when they donated against prop 8 and came out against family. There are plenty of pro-family computer companies in America, don't waste your dollars on anti-Christian Apple!"


really?


people make me fuckin sick sometimes man.
that shits just stupid.
grow the FUCK up.

"The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination "

i like skating alot.

i m glad they built this lemon grove skate park
(although it definently has its flaws)
it's gotten me back into the swing of skating.
and ive been getting way better, and more consistent.
its become a hobby again. and it gives me something ACTIVE to do.

i go skate pretty much everyday. sometimes twice a day.

i wanna make a skate part, for a video, even if its not like anything EPIC.
i just wanna do it for fun.



...lately i feel weird. i feel like i want to be creative.
in many areas. but i just dont know what to do.

for some reason i ve gotten the sudden urge to do some drawings.
like i m not going to lie, i believe that in this age of technology,
things have changed. and shits done on the computer.
growing up the way i did, kinda made me get USED to doing it on the computer.
i think i lost alot of what i HAD as an illustrator.

to be honest, i never was PLEASED with my works (but then again when am i?)
but i want to start sketching, then scanning and what not.

theres alot of artists that are very INSPIRING to me.

Eric Tan is one of them.
he did all the wall-e posters that most people see, as well as most pixar shit.
hes pretty sick, i love his style its simple, and something i ve tried to do.
but was never successful at, needles to say, i ll rip his style off for SOMETHING.haha.

Tom Whalen is another one.
kinda the same idea. really cool stuff. i dig it.


i feel like i want to do a few things that i ve wanted to do for a while.
i want to write out a few shorts, and movie ideas i ve had for a while. and just get it out.
i also want to do a comic of some sorts. a web comic (like theres not enough of those.)
i ve alway WANTED to, but never knew what i would do it about. still don't. but i wan't to do it.



random post.
just felt like writing more frequently in this.
word up.

...have you ever had one of those days,
where you feel like the forces of nature, or god(s), or WHATEVER is against you.
that against all odds, EVERYTHING is going wrong for you.

when something good happens, and you feel like youre seeing sunny side of things,
then it comes to a crashing down, by ANOTHER mis-fortunate event.

its like youre being tested.

today, was one of those days for me.

and at the end of the day.
i lost it.


i FLIPPED out.


long story short. i told the guy at the gas station i would fucking murder him.



now to put things into perspective.


among other things. i ve been having car trouble.(what else is new right?)
my radiator leaks. so basically ANY time i take a trip somewhere i have to fill it up.
and it still causes me problems. cuz if i m somewhere for a while, it leaks out.
and thats not good.

tonight we went to pineapple express.
low and behold, the water had leaked out.
leading to my truck overheating, and me on the side of the road.
skip past joey bailing me out, and bringing me water.
i go to the first gas station.


...no water. ANYWHERE.


second gas station. i decide to just go to the shell by stephanies.
these people ALWAYS get the water and air for me, usually cool people.

not tonight.

i m going to spare the LONG story.

the dude tells me no. its for customers only.
i told him my car is overheating, and i just need a little water.
and that they always turn it on no problem.
he is VERY insisting that its for customers only. and it didn't matter if i bought gum.
its ONLY for gas.

so i say, here, heres 1$. i dont want the fucking gas. turn on the water.
still being an asshole, he keeps telling me its not his problem.
and REFUSES to turn this shit on.
there was ALOT of yelling, and alot of arguing.

at the END of getting my water, i pull up to the pump, and try to get my gas.
and the dude tells me hes "giving me nothing".

that was about where i lost it.

this dude tried to act bold.
tell me he wasn't giving me anything at all.
and then tried to tell ME he would call the cops.

i told him go ahead.

among other things. i basically in the end told this dude i would fucking murder him.



and on my way home, the only thing i could think about were all the things i SHOULD have done.
the things i WANTED to do now.

knock shit over.
throw some food.
spit in his face.
pump gas all over the place.

just the most awful shit you could think of, just because i was SO beyond pissed at this guy.

lets keep in mind. it wasn't about the dollar.
or even the water.

it was about this dude being SO unsympathetic. and SUCH an asshole.
and everything leading up to this, i just reached my boiling point. (not like the show)





and then it brings me to this.


i m upset. upset that i WANT(ed) to do all those things.
because i don't think it's OK. or right. or good.
it makes me mad that i feel like that dude got the best of me.
and that i could REACH that point. and WANT to do so many bad things.


i feel like i m a pretty good person.
i feel like i make the right decisions most of the time.
i like to think that i am on a "righteous" course, if you will.
not that i feel like "my shit don't stink".

but that i do what i think is right.

lets be honest.
i m a pretty big believer in karma.

i can't even so much as throw trash on the ground
without thinking that EVENTUALLY thats going to bight me in the ass.

i can't do some shit like vandalize. or do something bad to this gas station,
without thinking that EVENTUALLY, i ll get it back the same.



and sometimes. i feel like everything is against me.
like this way of life i believe in, isn't working.


its the simple things. like my car.
i put water in it, check the oil. treat it nice. the works.
but SOMEHOW i m cursed with the fact that my cars ALWAYS break.
i don't even UNDERSTAND it.

then people like my brother or mom (no offense Evan) who NEVER check their oil or water,
somehow NEVER seem to break anything, or have any car problems.

how is it that i am so unfortunate?


don't get me wrong.
i don't think i m the best person in the world.
i don't think that i m perfect.
none of us are.

and i too have my faults.

but i have just been in one of those moods.
where i feel like i m being tested.
and god damn, it is REALLY getting to me.

but i digress.

i won't still believe.

do good things. and good things will come to you.
do bad things. and bad things will come to you.


and one day.

my day is going to come.


...now lets just hope that day comes soon.